As I sat on the bed, I let the tears flow uncontrollably. I have been hurt so bad, I didn’t know I could feel this much pains all at the same time; it's like everything I had ever bottled up inside was all looking for a way out all at once.
What triggered this much pain right now? I was a strong woman. I could absorb about anything. When I had watched those hoodlums drag my dad into the forest I hadn't felt even a pang of fear. I stayed strong.
I knew I had to for my mom and my siblings. I didn’t as much shed a drop of tear watching him slip in and out of coma throughout our stay in the hospital. Somehow I believed it wasn’t his time yet, and that strength kept my father.
But here I was, months later in a pool of my own tears, weak, broken to the soul, helpless, how on earth have i I let a human have such effect on me? Still I sat still letting the tears flow as he kissed each tear that dropped.
He was sorry, I had seen it in his eyes. He never knew I could hurt this bad and didn’t mean to he had said. Did I believe him? I knew it was time to stand up and walk away while I still could but I didn’t.
Instead I let him kiss every part of me, tracing every sensitive nerve, he had closed my mouth as I tried to say something, this is no time to talk just let it flow he said. But wait!! Why should I listen to him or believe him?
He had left me all by myself when I need him the most. I almost lost my life and my father's and he wasn’t there instead he acted up when I couldn’t show up when he needed me. We had fought, said things to each other and hung up.
Well I wasn’t expecting to hear from him ever again or so I thought after giving him a piece of my mind. It's been months and one day I saw a text…. My first instinct was to ignore it… I did only for some hours…lol! Then I replied.
We had gradually started texting again, we couldn’t resist it. There was something about how we flowed and we missed it. At least that we could accept. And as expected the invitation came. Hmmmmm!
For two weeks all he was doing was giving reasons why we needed to see but what he didn’t know….he didn’t know the rules have changed. It was now my game, my lead. I wasn’t about to let him get away with anything, nor make any faint excuse for him.
He was about to learn how to handle a sophisticated lady…I knew he wasn’t used to my kind… And so I said NO!!! Maybe I should have stopped the communication too but I didn’t and weeks later….I was exactly where I said I wouldn’t be…in his house…in his arms.
It was a weekend of tears and rain and intense passion. Back to where we started one would say but this time there was no pawn and no joker, only a king and a queen in a very dangerous game with just one rule….
Awesome post Maggie... Keep it up.
ReplyDeletethank you
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